A SNAPSHOT OF SYDNEY R SAIGE’S VIEW FOR A SUBMISSIVE
How do I begin this journey?
There truly is not a “right” way to begin a journey into being an online BDSM slave. It is a path that begins as you desire for it to begin and it grows based upon your curiosity and perseverance. A great way to approach your online research, is to take what you like and to leave the rest. For example, don’t let a structured hardcore source ruin your concept of what this lifestyle or playtime means.
What is the right way to practice BDSM?
When I first started exploring, I spent quite some time researching different keywords to bring about the answer that I was looking for. There is not a cookie cutter way to bring about a full description of what being a submissive entails. There are some key principles to understand to set up the dynamics of communication for yourself and your Master. Your Master will outline those expectations immediately through your interactions. A part of the beauty of being a submissive is to watch the relationship unfold naturally without knowing all of the answers to your questions.
When first working with a Master, you will quickly learn his likes, needs, preferences and tolerance. Each Master brings about a new flavor to the experience.
Remember that as you work to be a satisfying submissive, that your Master is working equally as hard to set up the scenario for a specific result. Although it may appear effortless, being a good Master is also challenging.
Self Esteem
Being a submissive is not about is taking a beating to your self esteem. Be certain that you can make the transition between your relationship and what it entails versus who you are in your every day life. I will never forget an online post that broke my heart early on. It was written by a woman that described how she gave her mind, body, soul to her Master. When he left her, she felt lost, alone and terrified. It’s important to stress that the journey is not about your Master being perfect, or about you surrendering your common sense. Approach the journey your Master is leading you to as a place of learning. A good Master, will almost always leave you in a place of adoration for his complexity and playing out his visions.
As a side note, no one can “take your soul”…it is yours for your entire lifetime. You may experience a feeling of shedding a part of your personality and the essence of who you are during your work with your Master, but when the session ends, you have the tools needed to return to what kind of person you are. Simply put, keep your life balanced and healthy.
Language
Sometimes a part of the BDSM play may consist of language that you may think as being offensive. If you find that the words being used are damaging to your well being, then you may want to re-think your choice of Master, or find a way to share with him the reason why the word is difficult to accept. Often, you can work through the barriers that are getting you stuck. But, also know that if a Master says for example that you are a *worthless xyz…and it bothers you, you will want to put your needs first and evaluate if BDSM is enhancing or damaging your sexual experience.
Confidence
Often work with a Master will bring you a new level of confidence. By sharing sacred sexual events, it can begin to unfold your hidden sexual desires. Having a safe place to explore them with a Master that genuinely wants to see you happy makes a world of difference. It is my hope that you too will find a Master that is able to bring about growth in your sexuality.
Knowing Your Place
The sooner you can come to terms with the concept that your Master is at the top and you are beneath him, the quicker you will be able to understand the concept of BDSM. Keep in mind that this mindset may seem a bit intimidating (trust me, I went to an all female college that taught us to be strong women), but with the right Master, this concept can bring about more pleasure than you could ever imagine.
Setting Up A Time Frame For Beginning and Ending A BDSM Relationship
From what I have heard, anything over six months straight can be damaging to your sexuality. Taking a break is highly recommended. Since being a submissive requires you to push through your sexual barriers to explore outside of your comfort zone, it can over time bring about feelings of not having any boundaries on your sexual preferences. Keeping balance and harmony in your BDSM exploration is key. I’m not suggesting that this is always the case, but it is information to be aware of to prevent damage to your well being.
Here are a few sites that I explored for information early on:
Erotic Lactation. The definition of lactation for adult play.
Extreme Restraints. Items such as bondage gear, sex toys, dildos & insertables, vibrating sex toys, chastity devices, strap ons, nipple toys, mouth gags, remote sex toys, collars and a pleatheria of toys.
Expectations. Topics revolve around instilling patience, managing expectations, consistency trust, and developing communication skills.
An Array of Adult Toys. Kinky bondage toys from a reliable source that has been around for quite some time.
Taken In Hand. A resource for setting up a power play scenario.
Good Luck In Your Journey…may it be unforgettable and safe.
Sydney R. Saige
*If you or someone you know is not in a consenting relationship and need assistance to leave I have included an important resource:
To end and abusive relationship that is harming your well being please call 1-800-799-7233.
Read an erotic novel.
Sydney,
I almost never leave comments, however I browsed some remarks on this page A Note For The Beginner Online Submissive | FLICK
A SWITCH by sydney r. saige. I do have some questions for you if it’s allright.
Is it simply me or does it seem like some of these responses appear like they are written
by brain dead people? 😛 And, if you are writing at additional social sites, I would like to follow.
G. Pen
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Dear Arron,
Your remark came in as “SPAM”. The comment was rescued because you bring about a good question about if a submissive is “brain dead”. Furthermore, your inquisitive nature deserved a response.
Slave Leigh wanted you to know that while it may appear as “brainless work” to be a good submissive, it is quite the contrary. As she is sure that you understand, not following your own ideas in a sexual situation is a difficult task to undertake. A submissive makes the decision to do just that for the sake of exploration into the unknown and to satisfy her Master’s sexual urges (which ignite her own urges). Simply discarding her common sense would bestow her the title of “brainless”. By keeping her common sense intact and surrendering her will, it heightens the sexual experience for both the Master and submissive.
The blog entry is offering some general framework for a newbie to the experience of becoming an online BDSM slave. The article is intended to encourage the newbie to use her own judgement to keep herself safe and to pick a Master that can be trusted in her most vulnerable experiences. It was written in a way that would allow her to know that she has many options and choices before she decides to become an online submissive.
Most BDSM outlets use a strict cookie cutter map for the submissive that could lead to negative outcomes if she is not prepared. Slave Leigh prefers having options before she allows a Master into her playtime. The article was written to steer the submissive onto that path.
Hope that helps.
Regards,
Sydney R. Saige
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Sydney
I happened upon an online Dom and I have never been a sub before so I am totally new to this. He said when it’s over its over and that we will never meet. How do I not become attached yest still be a good sub? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
Jessica
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Hi Jessica,
Yes, that is the dilemma of being the slave and your question is a fantastic one.
Try to look at your experience from a curious standpoint about what being a sub is all about. Allow yourself to be captivated by your Master, but yet still stay grounded in your present life.
Even in non-fantasy relationships, there is a risk of breaking up with a man you cherish.
Find safety in knowing that you can decide to end things if you like as well.
Realize that each Master brings about a “new” flavor to your experience.
When your time is done with your first Master, realize that your next Master will bring about a whole set of experiences.
Best of Luck on Your Journey,
Sydney R. Saige
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Sydney,
thank you for share!
R.
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Dear P.,
Glad you enjoyed it.
Sydney R. Saige
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Sydney,
thanks for share!
L.M.
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Dear L.M,
I am glad to hear you enjoyed the blog. Keep coming back.
Regards,
Sydney R. Saige
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Greetings from Ohio! I’m bored at work so I decided
to browse your site on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the information you present here and can’t wait to take
a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how fast your blog loaded
on my mobile .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G ..
Anyways, awesome site!
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Dear FBP,
AWESOME…It is good to hear you are enjoying the site.
Best Regards,
Sydney R. Daigle
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